A small puppy, obviously killed by the same blow that finished off the victim.

"I strike at the bandit with my axe"

"Give me a to hit roll"

"Natural 20!"

"You cleave both targets in half, blood sprays everywhere!"

"Both targets?"

5 - As the goblin lays facedown in a pool of blood. You discover a bucket full of candy and a cracked plastic mask with the same expression of the goblin you just fought.

Then you switch to a system where you don't add the 1, interpreting 00 as 100

Extra points if the slain party is a guard or other law enforcement official.

Nice. Let's balance this out a bit at the other end:

98 - A scroll containing a detailed plan to burn down the nearest orphanage.

99 - Pockets full of napkins inscribed with insane anti-gnome racist gibberish.

100 - A magic communication stone that, if activated, creates a magic audio connection with the lead villain of the current story arc.

I'd just turn it into a running joke that roughly 50 different bandits have the same picture of the same woman in a locket, and another 30 keep sending money to the same "mother". Then I'll make a cult where the phrase "For the light in my darkness" is some twisted mantra.

Wouldn't that give you 11-100?
l
The Lowest number on a dice is 1, and 1×10 gives you 10.

The formula would have to be

((d10-1)×10)+d10=x≥90⟹y=(y+1)⟹z>1(d2)

So you'd still have to flip a coin on reaching a result of 90+ in order to know if you add a +1 or not as well or else you can't get 90 as a result either.

(This is assuming you have a d10 that's 1-10 btw and not 0-9!)

Then you get 1 to 99

Anti-gnomery isn't bad.

100 - “ICE” patches.

The look of fear and confusion in their eyes as the mortal wound breaks the spell controlling them

Don't link to TV Tropes without a warning.

NP, my char has the psychopath trait.

If your group didn't sign up for a gritty realistic setting do not hit them by a surprise like that. Guilt and depression are not emotions you should bring to a typical high fantasy table. Not every game needs to be edgy.

Our first use of the speak with dead spell revealed that the bandit had a cousin in Neverwinter. I made it my personal quest to find her and give her news of her cousin's passing.

"thank fuck that asshole is dead"

You're not too far off. But she said it nicer.

I'm sorry, if the bandits didn't want to get killed, they shouldn't have jumped adventurers. I'm sorry if they had a home life, but it's not my fault my group defended itself.

"Oh wow, those scumbags really stole all that worthless, sentimental stuff before they ran into us? Serves 'em right then."