I'd just turn it into a running joke that roughly 50 different bandits have the same picture of the same woman in a locket, and another 30 keep sending money to the same "mother". Then I'll make a cult where the phrase "For the light in my darkness" is some twisted mantra.

Wouldn't that give you 11-100?
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The Lowest number on a dice is 1, and 1×10 gives you 10.

The formula would have to be

((d10-1)×10)+d10=x≥90⟹y=(y+1)⟹z>1(d2)

So you'd still have to flip a coin on reaching a result of 90+ in order to know if you add a +1 or not as well or else you can't get 90 as a result either.

(This is assuming you have a d10 that's 1-10 btw and not 0-9!)

Then you get 1 to 99

Anti-gnomery isn't bad.

100 - “ICE” patches.

The look of fear and confusion in their eyes as the mortal wound breaks the spell controlling them

Don't link to TV Tropes without a warning.

NP, my char has the psychopath trait.

If your group didn't sign up for a gritty realistic setting do not hit them by a surprise like that. Guilt and depression are not emotions you should bring to a typical high fantasy table. Not every game needs to be edgy.

Our first use of the speak with dead spell revealed that the bandit had a cousin in Neverwinter. I made it my personal quest to find her and give her news of her cousin's passing.

"thank fuck that asshole is dead"

You're not too far off. But she said it nicer.

I'm sorry, if the bandits didn't want to get killed, they shouldn't have jumped adventurers. I'm sorry if they had a home life, but it's not my fault my group defended itself.

"Oh wow, those scumbags really stole all that worthless, sentimental stuff before they ran into us? Serves 'em right then."

Is anyone else tired of murderhobo being ascribed to anytime a party kills anything? "How dare you murderhobo that mindflayer!" "How dare you murderhobo that zombie!"

Now, while I get the point of the post is that the bandits are still people, my comment doesn't refute that point. The point of my comment is that a DND is expected to kill in the campaign sometimes, and calling the party murderhoboes for doing so every time it happens is kinda condescending. In addition, the bandits deliberately attempted to murder the party for their money. The adventurers fought back and weren't able to pay attention to how lethal their strikes were. It adds more realism to do as the post describes, but it doesn't make the bandits better people than the party

there's a 0 on the die

to roll 1:
1st, 0 x 10 = 0
2nd, 0+0 = 0
add 1, 0 + 1 = 1

to roll 100:
1st, 9 x 10 = 90
2nd, 90 + 9 = 99
add 1, 99 + 1 = 100

that is a different way of doing it I didn't think about but my method still works

to roll 1:
1st, 0 x 10 = 0
2nd, 0+0 = 0
add 1, 0 + 1 = 1

to roll 100:
1st, 9 x 10 = 90
2nd, 90 + 9 = 99
add 1, 99 + 1 = 100

that's the exact same except you count 0 AS 100 instead of adding 1

My group would start collecting the shit like Pokémon cards and then want to know the value of the "art objects".

You get 100 when you roll 10 twice

(1d10 - 1) * 10 + 1d10 -> (10 - 1) * 10 + 10 = 9 * 10 + 10 = 90 + 10 = 100

Okay, this one actually slaps